10 Things That Piss Me Off About Girls & Women

1) They seek reassurance that they are beautiful from people other than themselves. "Does my bum look big in these jeans?" Of course it does, lardass! 2) They are too hung up on how their bodies look instead of just accepting themselves the way they are. 3) They watch sanitised soppy TV shows. 4) Their ancestor gave in to the whims of a talking snake to do the wrong thing. 5) They marry for money and hopeful financial security instead of love. 6) They are the worst drivers and don't get out of the way when you are in a hurry. 7) Some of them cry about the most trivial things, instead of the most crucial things. 8) They bore guys stupid about the likes of Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise instead of fancying guys like Rowan Atkinson, Ron Mael and Bill Gates. 9) Some of them think they know everything by the time they turn 18. 10) They are too susceptible to diets and beach fashion instead of doing their own thing and thinking for themselves. I will marry any woman who has the audacity to go into a newsagent and set fire to a whole stack of beauty magazines.